Dinosaur Rage

Keeping It Queer
By Erica Chu


Dinosaur Rage

My partner T has recently changed jobs, and in her new work environment, everyone assumes she’s like most of the women there who are heterosexual and who value things like getting married or being a good wife or mother. Of course there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being that type of person, but T wants people to recognize her as queer. Even when she tells them, they don’t quite get it because she likes her hair long, wears heels on occasion, yet she’s not a femme. She’s about as much masculine as she is feminine, but no one seems to understand. Common narratives of masculinity or femininity are difficult for her because they’re all too confining—she wants to identify as something unaffiliated.

Our language and culture are not very accommodating, so despite her attempts to be the non-gendered or multiply-gendered person she wants to be, she gets angry when these expectations are placed on her. She’s filled with rage that everyone assumes they know what she is. She jokes that the rage she experiences justifies a new identity as a dinosaur.

It all makes a good joke, but there is a large amount of seriousness involved. Most of us have felt the pain and anger caused by a straight world that expects heterosexuality or assumes stereotypes. The classic protest chant, “We’re here, we’re queer” comes from the same kind of rage against a society that refuses to see us for who we are and what we want to be. For some of our straight friends it’s difficult to understand where some of our anger comes from. Why should we get angry when someone stares at us on the train? Why should we speak ill of overprotective parents who think movies that reference same-sex attraction is too obscene for young people? Open conversations help our straight friends to really understand where we’re coming from and how this rage forms.

The same thing is true when talking about race. Members of racial minority groups sometimes develop negative attitudes because of continued assumptions about who or what people should be based on what they look like. I have a chip on my shoulder about a lot of white people, yet that chip didn’t magically appear. It developed over time through numerous experiences that have taught me many people make assumptions about me and the world based on a very small perspective. I try to be conscious of my own attitudes and work to be fair, but the rage sometimes escapes. If you’ve been asked as often as I have “what are you?” like you’re an alien who requires immediate classification, would you blame me?

This kind of rage can develop in any group of people who’ve been a minority among a larger group that thinks they are the standard for “normal.” These “normative” groups can be straight, white, people without disabilities, middle-aged, middle-class, male, and numerous other possibilities. In the LGBTQAI community, the “normative” group in danger of alienating minority groups are gay men and to a lesser but still present degree lesbians. Bisexual, transgendered, intersex, asexual, queer, and a gamut of other identities are often ignored, or treated as if they should be gay, should be straight, should be “trannies”, or a variety of other things.

One important challenge for any community is to resist the tendency to make expectations and assumptions about people’s identities. It’s difficult especially within communities such as ours, which are based on outsider status, but in such cases it’s all the more important. Even within twice minoritized groups such as transgender or queer communities, there can be a tendency to assume a “normal” narrative of what and who should be considered trans or queer.

We’ve all had the experience of being a part of the minority group. Chances are, we’ve each also participated in the process of alienating a minority group in some manner. It’s unfortunate, but it’s also incredibly important we acknowledge past and present failings so that we can improve and make the present and future what it must become: a safe place for all kinds of people.

Rage is not the most productive of emotions, but understanding how it develops in each of us sheds light on how we can inadvertently cause others to feel similar kinds of rage. So the next time you see someone who is untrusting and maybe has a bad attitude, ask yourself how it developed. What changes can you make, what changes must we make to create a world that is safe for that person? I’ve mentioned gender, sexual orientation, abilities, and age, but what of identities we’ve not even considered? If dinosaur rage can exist, there must be a lot of other kinds and therefore a lot of other work we need to do.


Erica Chu is a student at Loyola University Chicago and is seeking a PhD in English with a concentration in Women Studies and Gender Studies. She manages the blog keepingitqueer.blogspot.com and can be reached at ericachu@msn.com.