Little Things

Keeping It Queer
By Erica Chu


Little Things

It’s the Sunday night before Labor Day. My partner and I walk down the stairs of the el station after enjoying a dinner out. Inwardly, I groan when I see how crowded the platform is; I had thought the crowds would have thinned by ten. At the bottom of the stairs, my eyes are immediately assaulted by the sight of a young straight couple locked in slobbery embrace despite the dozens of people standing in very close proximity. I look to my left, and another couple is standing close by, kissing every few seconds, the man’s hands resting inside the woman’s back pocket. I mutter a bit too loudly, “What the fuck.”

I’m disgusted by their blatant heterosexual privilege. I’m probably jealous too because when T and I hold hands, or give a peck on the cheek, we’re stared at, judged, spoken of like freaks, called out to, or worse. Mostly, I’m angry at the crowd because no one is batting an eye. If I did something similar, all hell would break loose, but this scene on the platform is normal?

T gives me mean looks. She gets annoyed when I let myself get upset over little things.

Two trains later, we finally get enough nerve to squeeze ourselves into a car, and after several stops, there’s a little room to breathe. Eventually we find seats. All the passengers seem exhausted after being packed sardine-style for so long, and everyone is quiet. Everyone but one guy, who breaks the silence to very loudly hit on a girl. The girl is being more than polite, but she’s not interested. T seems embarrassed for them both. I roll my eyes.

As the train car moves further and further north, a murmur of chatter begins again. Suddenly a loud voice says in ultra-stereotyped feminine ditziness, “Show me, I want to see everything!” A young woman is carrying on wildly with a guy who I had noted earlier was alone and looking very drunk. I am beyond annoyed. Is this what it means to have a “normal” sexual orientation and gender identity? If so, I’m thanking the Lord I’m as queer as they come.

Still, what if some guy tried hitting on another guy? The whole car would be staring and whispering disapprovingly. Some jerk might even start something.

As T and I breathe fresh air on the sidewalk leading home, I grumble about “damn breeders,” and T tells me how one of her students asked about whether gay people can oppress straight people. The student had been called a breeder and been made to feel unwelcome. T told her class that in order to oppress, one has to have power, and though this student had obviously been treated rudely, it takes the misuse of power to produce oppression.

Had we really been oppressed that night? Well, we’d certainly avoided a lot out of a desire to prevent problems. T and I held hands on the street, but not on the platform. We kissed briefly in the restaurant, but not when very many people were around. I had thought of wearing a tie but decided I’d rather not deal with any unwanted attention. Maybe we were being overly cautious, but most of these decisions were made unconsciously. The bottom line is that the anticipation of negative attention should not be as commonplace as it is.

So, yes, we had been oppressed in a way. Still, I had not really felt oppressed, just upset and annoyed by the little things. The people I got annoyed with didn’t realize they made me feel like an outsider. Everyone was just doing their thing, and for the most part, there’s nothing wrong with that. My anger was a little misplaced. The problem is not straight couples but a social system that encourages everyone to accept some behaviors as “normal” and others as not.

Am I powerless? No. In many ways, I have more power than a lot of the people on that train, and that means I have the responsibility to try to keep myself from making others feel like freaks. But how often have I judged a person based on their appearance? How many times have I thought I knew better when I didn’t even fully understand the situation? How often have I made assumptions about someone based on a stereotype?

Yes, we as a community face oppression, but we are often in a position to misuse what power we have and thereby oppress others. We may not even know we’re making anyone feel like an outsider, so let’s be tireless in learning about our own privilege and fighting against social tendencies that mark some folks as “normal” and others not. It’s little things that need to change, but it will take more than a little effort. I think we’re up for the task.


Erica Chu is a student at Loyola University Chicago and is seeking a PhD in English with a concentration in Women Studies and Gender Studies. She manages the blog keepingitqueer.blogspot.com and can be reached at ericachu@msn.com.